answers

For almost the past year, Karl and I have been trying to get pregnant, without success. In February and March, we had some tests done to see if we could figure out what was causing the problem, and a month ago we got the answer: I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, a form of hypothyroidism where my immune system has attacked my thyroid, and it has stopped producing enough thyroid hormone. Since the thyroid helps regulate metabolism, every cell in the body depends on those thyroid hormones to properly function. When there isn't enough, this causes all kinds of things like chronic fatigue, achiness, difficulty concentrating/memory problems (I've seen this described as "brain fog"; my mom calls it "chemo brain"), and increased susceptibility to getting sick because of a weakened immune system, as well as infertility. I had all those symptoms, but had just assumed it was because we were busy, or had a lot of stress in our lives, or I needed to get more sleep - so I was hugely relieved to have an answer for not only the infertility but all the rest, too! It's really, really exciting for me to think that I might not have to live this way, being tired all the time. It's sobering, since this is a chronic autoimmune disease that will require medication every day for the rest of my life. BUT, it's so very good to have a name for it, and hope for the way ahead.

They did some more bloodwork today, and on Monday or Tuesday I should be able to get the first prescription. It will most likely take several months to find the right dosage, so that means a date with me and a needle every 4-6 weeks until my blood levels are in the normal range. After that, I'll just need to be checked every 6-12 months to make sure the dosage is still working.

One unexpected blessing with all this is the fact that we haven't been able to get pregnant - untreated hypothyroidism can cause impaired cognitive development, greater risk of miscarriage, and other problems for the mother and the baby. Now that I've been diagnosed, we're waiting until my levels are normal before we start that process again, and once I do become pregnant they'll know to check my levels every month and adjust the meds as needed to make sure the baby and I are both healthy. For the last eleven months we've been praying so hard for a baby, and didn't understand why God seemed to be saying, "not yet..." Now it's clear that He was protecting us, and making sure everything was safe for our little one. Yet another example of why I need to remember to trust Him and His timing!

Thanks to everyone who's been praying for me, and for us... I'll keep you posted.

Rest

Something I need to be reminded of:

God built rest into the very rhythm of creation. Keeping a day of rest made
His top-10 list. And believe it or not, rest serves a purpose -- a divine
purpose. It reminds us that God is in control. What happens when you cannot
finish everything that you think you need to get done and your body is
telling you, "you have to go to sleep"? You are thrown into a situation
in which you must depend on God.

Rest reminds us that there is Someone we can rest in. And our need for
rest is a daily reminder that we are finite creatures and must trust in an
infinite God.

- Mark Earley, Breakpoint 1.16.08

I've always been, as Karl says, a "champion sleeper." If I let my body dictate things, I'd be sleeping for 9 or 10 hours a night... and if I go for too long on less than 7 hours a night, I start to get really grumpy. It's definitely not fun (for me or those around me!).

I read recently about a sleep study done where participants were told to get lots of exposure to natural light, use no artificial means of waking up (i.e. alarm clocks, etc.), and go to sleep and get up as their body demands. The average person ended up sleeping something like 10-11 hours a night for almost three weeks while their body recovered, then they fell into a natural rhythm of 7-8 hours a night. We're just so driven today, and since most of us spend all day in our houses or offices or stores or restaurants or driving from one to the other, we're just not used to matching that day/night rhythm.

In my head I know I should go to bed earlier - the getting up part is pretty inflexible, since I have a job to be at by a certain time - but by the time we're both home from work, dinner is made and eaten and the dishes cleaned up, the time seems so precious. We need that time to either spend together watching a movie or talking, or in "de-stress" mode (him at the computer, me with my book), and after an hour or two it's past ten and time to start the pre-bed rituals. It's hard to find ways to get the sleep we need without shortening that time together too much, or totally ignoring all the little things that pile up around the house to do.

Perhaps thinking about it in terms of trusting God rather than "just a little later" will help... it does put it into perspective.